Insomnia, Sort Of...

So, I'm not sleeping, but only because I was studying for real and i just wanted to post this up just so I don't forget it.

At some point, I want my close guy friends and I to refer to ourselves as the Lost Boys. I just think its a pretty awesome name for a group.
Yea, thats about it.
I just posted this so I didn't forget.


The Kid
~Platinum

the opposite of catching z's

Need to sleep, but I can't bring myself to get in bed. Why?

Lucidity will be updated sometime soon, I assure you

The Kid
~Platinum

Lucidity Pt. 2

I have more to say on other topics, but my lucidity has gone from me.
I'll elaborate on other concepts further when it does, so probably tomorrow night.
I'll just edit this post and replace it.

The Kid
~Platinum

Lucidity Pt. 1

Today I'm going to be somewhat existential and introspective. Feel free to not care.

Right now, i'm thinking clearly, lucidly. This doesn't happen often. It's an interesting feeling, to spin such poetic thoughts in your head, only to find out that there's no way you can explain them to others. This doesn't happen often for me, and it when it does, its not really a good thing. It only really happens when I'm tired, depressed, or feeling down on myself, or any combination of the three. Right now though, thats not really happening, aside from the tired part. I've actually sort of managed to restructure part of my life, and while it isn't the part that derives me much joy or pleasure, it is a very real and necessary part of my life. The college and studying part I mean. I'm actually doing that second thing. I'm actually quite happy about it. But there are drawbacks.
I'm not sleeping for a reason I can't really point out. I just don't want to. I can't convince myself to. My need to sleep has been overrun by a drive to study. Never thought studying would be so bad for me. But there it is. There are other things I should be doing now, like showering so that I can go to sleep. But I don't want to. So I'm here, thinking lucidly... It's like insomnia, only I'm not staring at my ceiling. My computer screen replaced that a long time ago.
I don't think I ever slept well. I'd always wake up to find my covers in a different place, or off my bed entirely. I often wake up hot and sweaty, or cold and well, sweaty. My friends say I move in my sleep, thrash. Sometimes I talk. I hardly ever remember my dreams- maybe 5 in the past 365 days. Why?
I'm prone to hypnic jerks. They happen often in class. Indicitive of my irregular sleep schedule. I can't stay awake though, can't focus. My sleep cycle is reversing. I guess you could say I'm becoming nocturnal. I don't understand why. I need to function during the day, there's so much to do. I need to slow down but I can't. I run to fast- push myself too hard. If I just keep moving I can't stop and look back- see how tired I am. See how much the race is killing me. It's a hard race, but I just keep running. I never can tell if I'm sick or not. If I push through and move then it won't matter, won't slow me down. Life shouldn't work that way though but thats the way I'm choosing to live it. I've got to keep running. I can't stop, won't stop.


And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death


~Pink Floyd



The Kid
~Platinum

B leh

I'm gonna keep this short cause I'm not really in a good mood right now, but sometimes I wish there was someone- and by someone I mean a female- who was here for me to comfort me and tell me its all going to be alright. Cause right now, I really don't think it will be.

Peace
The Kid
~Platinum

I'm Such A Tease...

I know I promised a real update, well technically yesterday, but we'll call it today, but right now I really can't think of what exactly to say that could possibly explain, not everything but something.
I don't know why but right now I'm just not feeling that poetic. However, when I do update with something that actually matters you can look forward to me discussing topics like:
-My Father's recent marriage and my own views on the subject
-The joys of reading
-My winter break thus far
-My life in general
-My feelings on blogging thus far (and no, I'm not tired of blogging)
-and many others!

Okay, well, maybe not many... but some. A few. You'll see as long as you check back in oh say... a week. Actually, I kid, tomorrow seems like an empty day.
Keywords of course being "seems" and "like."
So, until then,
Peace

The Kid
~Platinum

TIred and Sore, but not in that Order

I went snowboarding today for the first time in forever and so I am thus incredibly sore and incredibly tired. Therefore I promise I'll update tomorrow. I owe you guys a good one anyway.

The Kid
~Platinum