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So, I'm home for Thanksgiving. I took the train with some friends to the airport and waited with them until they left. I had to wait a couple extra hours for my flight but I didn't mind. A kid who lives in my dorm was on the same flight as me, and we ended up sitting together. That was pretty cool, and it made the flight a little easier, but all in all I still hate flying. I'm still not entirely sure why I do, I just know that I do.
I get on the plane and immediately my chest tightens up, I lose my breath, and I can't breathe anyway. I start to sweat. It really sucks. I'm not really sure why, I just always feel like we're just about to fall out of the air. Just plummet. Fall, Fall, Fall. (Which by the way, is an excellent song by a band called Razorlight. Check them out sometime) I guess that stems from my fear of heights, but that doesn't rationalize me feeling that terrified of airplanes. I think I can attribute another part of it to the fact that when I'm on an airplane, I have no control whatsoever and I have absolutely no idea what's going on really at any point in the flight. That small stutter in the sound from the engines could just be the pilots slowing the plane down. Or it could be the engine exploding. I tend to think its the second.
Is that a completely ridiculous conclusion to jump to? You bet your sweet ass it is. But I do it anyway.
I think though the biggest reason though is that I'm really afraid of what happens if the plane were to suddenly drop from the sky. I have no idea what's on the other side. Am I religious? Sometimes, I'm Roman Catholic by birth, but I disagree with a few things, so I have my own beliefs. They're kind of hard to articulate and I know I won't do a good job now, so maybe that's a topic for another day. Besides, I'm being philosophical enough as it is right now.
But anyway, I'm just really freaked out by the whole concept of death. And since I'm always convinced we're right about to blow up I immediately think about dying whereupon I have a massive panic attack. I'm prone to those sometimes, but only when I think about really heavy stuff.
Also, for me its a numbers game. What can I say? I like math and I know the statistics. A major plane accident hasn't occurred in a while. So I always think that its my plane thats going to be the 1/the long odds.

That's enough soul searching for today. Maybe one day I'll get over this irrational fear, but another might just take its place.

In other news, The Best Friend might be coming over later, and if he does I'm really looking forward to seeing him. It's been a while.

Anyway,
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

The Kid
~Platinum